Do you ever find yourself thinking or uttering those words? Has the moment when you put your fate into the hands of Jesus come and gone, maybe years ago or maybe days ago, and now the emotional energy of that big moment has faded and nothing much seems to have really changed?
Recently I had a conversation with a friend who is struggling with where to go next in his newly revived walk with the Lord. When it was all boiled down he simply said, "I don't know... I guess I just want something more, but I don't know if I even know what that is."
This morning as I thought about this, I kept thinking about the blind man who received his sight, as told to us in Luke's account of the Gospel. Here is the story from Luke 18, if you don't remember it:
35 As he approached Jericho, a blind man was sitting by the road begging. 36 Hearing a crowd passing by, he inquired what was happening. 37 “Jesus of Nazareth is passing by,” they told him.
38 So he called out, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” 39 Then those in front told him to keep quiet, but he kept crying out all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”
40 Jesus stopped and commanded that he be brought to him. When he came closer, he asked him, 41 “What do you want me to do for you?”
“Lord,” he said, “I want to see.”
42 “Receive your sight.” Jesus told him. “Your faith has saved you.” 43 Instantly he could see, and he began to follow him, glorifying God. All the people, when they saw it, gave praise to God.
I have to imagine that at the moment when the blind man received his sight he was overwhelmed with the emotional experience of having been touched by God in a powerful and unique way. Receiving his sight changed his life forever. Nothing would ever be the same. He would no longer identify as blind man.
But I wonder, did a day ever come when he took his sight for granted, and he wished Jesus would have done something more? Perhaps, if he lost focus on the one who gave him his sight. But the story does not end at verse 42. The story does not end with the miracle. With the closing of verse 42 a new story is just beginning!
Verse 43 tells us that once he could could see he "began to follow him, glorifying God." He did not just take the miracle and sit on is haunches. He did not receive his sight and then wait for God to move powerfully again so he could continue to be awed by the miracles. He followed him and glorified him. He leaped into action.
If you are feeling today that something is missing, that you want something more out of your walk with God, that you need to experience God moving in your life, then perhaps you need to follow the example of the blind man.
So often, it seems that when I loose perspective it is because I have not been following God as closely as I had been. That leads to taking the Lord for granted and, when I do that, I find myself stuck in a rut, doing little to glorify him. It is a downward spiral because starving one starves the other, just as feeding one feeds the other. Glorifying God helps me draw nearer to him, and drawing nearer to him helps me to glorify him. Purpose and energy begin to fill me and the feeling that I need something more fades in the light of his presence and purpose in my life.
So, how do we follow and glorify him? How do we draw near to him? It requires intentional action on our parts. Both of those indicate movement on our parts. Nearness to God comes as we read his Word and talk with him. Nearness comes as we sit quietly with him. Nearness comes as we focus our thoughts on him. We glorify him when we give him thanks, tell others about him, do what is right when the chips are down, and put our time, talents, and resources to work in his name.
So if you find yourself saying, "I just want something more," stop taking what God has given you for granted. Follow him and glorify him day by day, and day by day you will notice that you have more purpose and greater nearness to him than you realized.